Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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