I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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