im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
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Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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