i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
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Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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