No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I want a musical about memes.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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