Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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