i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
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I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
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Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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