I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
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I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
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Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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