JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
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We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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