its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize