u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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