I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
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Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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