Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
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Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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