Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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