This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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