'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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