That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize