i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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