If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize