Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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