so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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