you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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