did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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