what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize