I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize