fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
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My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
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Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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