I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
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I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
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it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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