Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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