Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I still have a little drunk in my system
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize