After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize