Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize