For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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