A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
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we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
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I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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