we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
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When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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