in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
how drunk are you?
Several
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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