Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
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I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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