shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
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getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
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You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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