...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
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he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
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You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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