Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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