Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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