we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
did i walk over a car last night?
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Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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