and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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