I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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