Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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