You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
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im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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