I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
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i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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