this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is wine microwaveable?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We are two peas in an std pod
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
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You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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