Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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