OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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