ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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